How Not To Sound Defensive

Chateau Heartiste

Reader Mr. Meaner passes along a text convo with a girl that stands as an excellent example of solid reframing and grace under pressure,

Here’s a text convo I had with a Tinder girl:

Her: Hey, how’s it going?

Me: wow.

Her: Wow?

Me: you look like a nice one

Her: What is that supposed to mean?

Me: a nice fish… a nice GIRL! what did you think it meant.

Her: I didn’t like the way it came across. Word of advice, be more respectful and you may get further.

Me: slow down, i need to be wined and dined first.

Her: Haha oh I see, you’re a traditional lass then?

Her: Drinks?

Most beta males would’ve shrunk in shame and apologetics when the girl demanded respect. Mr. Meaner reframed into the classic “I am the one being chased” theme. This promptly tipped her off that she was dealing with…

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The Art Of Playfulness

Chateau Heartiste

Women love playful men. Playfulness, broadly defined, is nonverbal teasing. Or it’s the physical and verbal working together as an insincere form of taunting. Not many men are naturally playful, especially with attractive women. Men tense up in the presence of sexually enticing women, and this discomfort is anathema to cultivating a playful demeanor. Playfulness is lost with age, as well. Boys are breezily playful, but their effortless joy and naughtiness eventually succumbs to moodiness and the grind.

Not in all men, though. Natural Lotharios have a gift for retaining much of their youthful playfulness, which they love to display in the company of women. For example:

This girl buries her face in her hand and laughs because she has experienced a pleasant sensation: the mischievous flirtation of a cocksure cad.

Playfulness is attractive to women because it’s a type of humor. Women love funny men, and all that spazz…

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What To Do When A Woman Switches Gears On You

Chateau Heartiste

“Gear switching” is a common female manipulative tactic that is very good at tripping up less experienced men. You can tell it’s happening when one minute a woman is seemingly signaling her romantic interest, and the next she’s taunting you for thinking you’re in her league.

Reader “Jaki” offers a case study of female gear switching,

Very common shit test i encounter:
she gives me a smiley either online or face to face, then:
Me: “its gonna take more than a smile to sweep me off my feet” – or along those lines – assuming the sale, that she wants to
Her: “who said i wanna do that?”

how to proceed? thx

First, never respond to a female gear switch with indignation or apologia. It doesn’t matter if she was serious, your job as a man is to never take her seriously, and this particularly applies to verbal detours she…

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How To Identify A Slut: Ring Etiquette Edition

Chateau Heartiste

You can add another slut tell to the patented and first-of-its-kind Chateau Heartiste list of slut tells.

Commenter backchecking explains,

In my experience, gals are extremely aware of ring etiquette. A ring finger is raised like garlic to a vampire — or flashed to evidence availability. This tic comes largely from the subconscious.

In a similar vein, lots of cheap rings and bangles indicate a babe on the hunt. Only one finger will be flamingly naked.

The “ring finger glaring omission” slut tell is almost as reliable as the tramp stamp. A girl with multiple rings on multiple fingers except the one finger that advertises monogamous commitment is practically sending up a Snapper Signal to the city’s gine fighters. Dark knights will converge on that girl to give her the hero sandwich she needs, even if it’s not the hero sandwich she deserves.

Bonus slut tell!

If a girlfriend…

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Keeping Your Woman In Line

Chateau Heartiste

Back in the day I lived in a group house with three other guys. It was a great time. As men, we really sharpened our joshing in this environment. I mastered the art of the cutting retort.

One of the guys, a physically imposing 6’7″ laid back dude, had a hot girlfriend – let’s call her Kay – with a great personality. She was every guy’s dream girlfriend. One night, all of us were sitting around in the living room splayed across dirty couches watching TV when Kay started gossiping about inconsequential private matters involving her boyfriend and his family. She meant no harm by it, and we weren’t really paying attention, but he obviously didn’t like the idea of her revealing personal details from his life. Out of the blue, he thundered


The room fell silent. Kay blushed a bright crimson and sat immobile, looking at him submissively from under her lowered eyes…

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Male Sexual Entitlement Is Attractive To Women

Chateau Heartiste

Male sexual entitlement – in its broader application, overconfidence – is attractive to women.

Here is an example of it in action (messages from girl on left):

Reader Blick Mang writes,

Please rewind to 2005, slap me in the face, and say “I fucking told you so.”

No further commentary required.

Thank you for it all.

You’re welcome.

Why do women love male sexual entitlement? It signals male status. What kind of man can afford to posture like a Lothario? What kind of man expects pussy to fall in his lap? That’s right, a high status man. A man, in other words, that other women want. Entitlement <-> status <-> female preselection. This is the wondrous feedback loop that traps vaginas in amplifying oscillations of raw tinglage.

As an exercise for newer readers, here’s the breakdown of Mang’s message game:

GIRL: …that is all I deserve?

MANG: We’ll have to…

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The Boyfriend Zone

Chateau Heartiste

Reader H.H. is bedeviled by the Boyfriend Zone.

Dear Chateau! you’ve helped me a lot so…

What to do when girls always put me in the “potential boyfriend” category? I’m a sociable guy who usually has no problems talking to strangers, getting people to smile or laugh, etc. I travel, have a cool job, hit the gym every once in a while and know my way around both in a sports bar and in an art gallery.

However, I tend to always be approached or at the very least orbited by 7s and 8s looking for a relationship*. ”I’d like to leave home with you, but I need to know that you’re interested in the long term” or ”I’d like to kiss you now, but I have to find out first whether you’re married”. (I could take them home and fuck them, but I hate to lie.)

I’m more interested…

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